struggling

It's rainy and overcast outside today and it's hitting me hard.

DS has been sick off and on for weeks now, so today I'm home with 4 kids five and under, and they are bored, but I don't have the energy to interest them.

I really need to clean, but I literally can't leave K alone for a minute, because she's crawling now, and the house is messy enough that I can't really put her down because she would get into too much. How's that for a catch-22? Can't clean for baby, because can't put baby down to clean. My life in a nutshell right now.

Why bother cleaning anything?

I have so many things I wanna try, and no motivation to actually do any of it. And certainly no money. I tried to sell my crafts, and no one seems to be interested. I guess I don't have anything new to sell, really, but I can't make any money to get supplies to make the cooler stuff I want, because no one is buying anything. More catch-22, eh? Can't afford to stock anywhere, but can't make any money unless I sell something.

Why bother making stuff?

I designed a pattern for sale for crocheted soakers, but no one seems very interested in that, either, and even if they were, I have no money to stock it anywhere. I plan to stock it on Etsy, but I have to have info back from testers first, and I need to make a few items from the pattern to sell, too. Again, no money. I hope to use up some of my stash yarn, though. There's always a little light at the end of the tunnel, but the tunnel seems reeeeally long today.

I just need a few sunny days, and someone to help with K for a day or two so I can get caught up. I am in perpetual survival mode and it's exhausting.

I am trying Motivated Moms, but I just can't seem to get on top of it. I'm constantly putting out fires and never getting ahead. Some days I get it all done, other days, nothing.

I really look forward to school being out so I can have another couple sets of hands around to help me. Evenings are too full of sports, and days are too full of little kids I'm constantly tripping over and cleaning up after.

Whatever. The forecast for later today is sunshine. I'll just hang on the couch until then.